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Weekend Butler: Gary Gulman: very funny. Tommy Smothers: great mentor. Jackson Browne: reality check. The richest Nobel poet. Savvy investment advice. Celery-and-apple stuffed roast chicken.

Published: Jan 10, 2024
Category: Weekend

GARY GULMAN

Let’s start with funny. Is he? Very. Watch. Then, if you’re like the friends who laughed at this comic (in the photo, above), you’ll go on to YouTube and laugh at many more videos from his comedy act. To watch his special on Amazon Prime click here.

GUEST ESSAY: CORT CASADY ON TOMMY SMOTHERS

Tommy Smothers died in December. The NY Times obit covered him in glory. Cort Casady, my college classmate and forever friend, began his career with the Smothers Brothers. He went on to win two Emmy Awards and three NAACP Image Awards for his work as a television and documentary writer-producer. He is the author of Not Your Father’s America: An Adventure Raising Triplets in a Country Being Changed by Greed.

When The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour came on the air in February 1967, I was a junior in college. My roommates and I watched the show every Sunday night. For us, it was what would later be called “appointment television.”

Their appeal was wonderfully complex. Tom played the fool to Dick’s straight man, but we knew Tommy was no fool. Add impeccable timing, non-threatening appearance, and guests like the Buffalo Springfield , Pete Seeger, Cream, and the Who, and you had the hippest show on television.

What I loved most about the Smothers Brothers was that they weren’t afraid to include the issues of the time in their satirical comedy: the War in Vietnam, the counterculture, civil rights, drugs, the President, Congress, and even censorship, which ultimately took them off the air.

What I immediately noticed about The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour was the writing. The staff included Hal Goldman and Al Gordon, two of Jack Benny’s writers. The younger members included Steve Martin, Rob Reiner, Lorenzo Music, Mason Wiliams, Bob Einstein, Leigh French, and John Hartford. They were eager to mix political satire with silliness, and, as it turns out, all were destined to have long, illustrious careers in show business.

As much as I loved the Smothers Brothers and couldn’t wait to see Tommy’s antics every Sunday, it never occurred to me that I’d ever meet him, much less work for them. I was planning to work in government. In college I was a political science major who worked on Capitol Hill for three summers as an assistant to a Congressman from San Diego. But the Vietnam war was raging, and like millions of Americans and everyone I knew who watched the Smothers Brothers on Sunday nights, I opposed it. JFK was assassinated the year I graduated from high school; Malcolm X and Martin Luther King were assassinated while I was in college; and Robert F. Kennedy was assassinated while I was on the way to graduation.

Bobby’s death put my fire out. I didn’t want anything to do with our government or Washington, D.C. Instead, I went to Los Angeles and, on the advice of a friend, applied for a job in August 1968 as a production assistant on The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour.

When I entered the office at CBS TV City for my job interview, I was stunned to see Tom & Dick Smothers, Glen Campbell, and Pat Paulsen, all of whom I had been watching on TV. Tommy was clean-cut, with close-cropped hair and a friendly smile — he looked like the last guy you’d suspect of creating a controversy.

I got the job and spent several months in service to the producers and writers as a “gopher” –– go for this, go for that. After a while, I was assigned to Tommy as his personal production assistant. Fortunately, my time on Capitol Hill taught me how to bring fresh snacks and juices to Tom and Dick on tape days and answer the phone if a call came in for Tommy.

I remember several times taking calls from network executives and asking them to hold while I found Tommy. I’d watch in utter amazement as he’d step off the stage, pick up the phone, and proceed to have a fully animated and often heated exchange with whomever was on the other end. Then he’d return to the stage and be hilarious.

Tommy played the fool, but he wasn’t one. Behind the silly façade and impish grin, he was a rule-breaker and a committed radical. “When we tried something and were told ‘no,’” Tommy recalls in Marc Freeman’s oral history of the show, “I wanted to know why. Why is content controversial if it’s real and has meaning? I couldn’t understand why that would be an issue. And when it became one, I became extra stubborn.”

While Tommy and his managers, Ken Kragen and Ken Fritz, were fighting with CBS over censorship and delivery issues, they were also running a multi-faceted entertainment company, Kragen, Smothers & Fritz, that included The Glen Campbell Goodtime Hour (also on CBS), a record company, a live event company, and the Los Angeles production of the rock musical, Hair – the first Broadway show ever presented in LA.

In April of 1969, CBS cancelled The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour which, at its peak, was attracting 30 million viewers. Sponsors were upset, and so were we. The comedy we all loved, lived, and worked for was over. No more of Tom and Dick’s wildly funny sketches skewering everything imaginable, David Steinberg’s religious sermons, David Frye’s impersonations of President Nixon, Pat Paulsen’s hilarious spoof of a presidential campaign, Leigh French’s thinly veiled chats about smoking pot, Bob Einstein’s wonderful portrayal of Officer Judy – gone, all gone.

My experience with Tommy’s affection for controversy didn’t end with The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour. I was moved from TV City to the theatre where preparations were underway for the LA production of Hair. By this time, Tommy had become aware of my political education and enrolled me in using my wiles to help expedite the renovation of the old Earl Carroll Theatre in Hollywood. (It was easy: I called my brother Mark, who was working for Congressman Tom Rees at the time, and Mark coached me on how to get City Councilman Paul Lamport enrolled in supporting the project in his district.)

I knew nothing about theatre renovation, legitimate theatre production, or theatrical marketing, but Tommy empowered me to find 1,100 chairs for the renovated theater; tour Councilman Lamport through the project to expedite the approval of plans, sell the Fire Marshall on our use of the theater’s unique water curtain instead of a costly, new asbestos curtain, and “paper the house” by giving away thousands of tickets to create the illusion that the show was selling out — which it then did.

Fun fact: As the time for previews approached, Tommy asked Frank Wells, the attorney for the company, to inform me that I was being made Vice President of the Theatre of Aquarius Corporation, the entity presenting the musical. When I asked Mr. Wells if the title came with a raise, he said, “No. We’re making you VP because you’re the only person in the company who has a clean police record. If the show gets busted by the Vice Squad for its notorious nude scene, you’ll be the one taken to jail. (I made sure the show never got busted.)

One night, at a party at Tommy’s rented house in the Hollywood Hills, as we sat admiring the sea of city lights below us, Tommy turned to me and said, “I wonder who will be living here next.” It was a question that revealed his capacity for self-awareness, his humility, and his understanding of fame.

Tommy taught me things Harvard couldn’t, and it’s been a joy to pass them on to the kids I’ve worked with — and to remind them to pass them on to the kids they’ll mentor. Did Tommy Smothers die last month at 86? No way. I can hear him now: irreverent, pissed off, and cracking jokes, making life more vibrant, and always, always, setting the bar higher.

GUEST ESSAY #2: A SONG BY JACKSON BROWNE

Sixty years after The Smothers Brothers made joyous television, Jackson Browne saw a darker American reality. I recently stumbled onto this song. “Long Way Round,” and now it’s in heavy rotation. Like vitamins. Once a day. Listen/watch. Here are the lyrics:

I don’t know what to say about these days
I’m seeing people changing in the strangest ways
Even in the richer neighborhoods
People don’t know when they’ve got it good
They’ve got the envy and they’ve got it bad

When I was a kid everything I did was trying to be free
Running up and down Tinsel Town with the fire inside of me
My planets all in retrograde, the best of all my plans got laid
I made my breaks and some mistakes
Just not the ones people think I made

I’m a long way gone
Down this wild road I’m on
It’s going to take me where I’m bound
But it’s the long way around

It’s a little hard keeping track of what’s gone wrong
The covenant unravels and the news just rolls along
I could feel my memory letting go some two or three disasters ago
It’s hard to say which did more ill
Citizens United or the Gulf oil spill

I’m a long way gone
Down this wild road I’m on
It’s going to take me where I’m bound
But it’s the long way around

It’s never been that hard to buy a gun
Now they’ll sell a Glock 19 to just about anyone
The seeds of tragedy are there
In what we feel we have the right to bear
To watch our children come to harm
There in the safety of our arms
With all we disagree about the passions burn, the heart goes out

And we’re a long way gone
Down this wild road we’re on
It’s going to take us where we’re bound
It’s just the long way around

SO YOU HAVE A FEW DOLLARS TO INVEST

A friend recently suggested I move some money into an Amex account that paid good interest. I asked my investment adviser, Sumit Kumar, of Stone Lake Wealth Management, what he’d do with it. As luck would have it, he was just sending his start-of-the-year thoughts to investors. See why I’m sticking with him? Pay attention — there will be a quiz.

I have often said that since I opened Stone Lake Wealth Management in 2017 we have had one historic event after another impacting the markets. The list includes but is not limited to: a global pandemic, inflation shock, the fastest interest rate hikes in 2 generations, worst performance for diversified portfolios (60/40 stock/bond) in 2022 since the Great Financial Crisis, and not one but two ongoing ground wars in Europe.

In spite of all these incredible events concentrated in the past 7 years, a moderate risk level, broadly diversified portfolio that is the backbone of SLWM’s investment process performed admirably. (IThe portfolio and performance numbers below are using a hypothetical portfolio and for illustrative purposes only. Your individual performance will differ depending on the exact construction of your portfolio, when it was invested and your investment plan and behavior.)

SLWM Hypothetical Moderate Risk Portfolio Allocation:

CASHX	Cash. .0.50%
BND	Vanguard Total Bond Market ETF. 13.80%
HYD	VanEck High Yield Muni ETF 6.90%
VCIT	Vanguard Interm-Term Corp Bd ETF. 13.80%
VGK	Vanguard FTSE Europe ETF 13.00%
VWO	Vanguard FTSE Emerging Markets ETF. 6:50%
IWM	iShares Russell 2000 ETF. 9.75%
SPY	SPDR S&P 500 ETF Trust. 26,00%
VO	Vanguard Mid-Cap ETF. 9.75%

Performance Jan 2017 – Nov 2023

Initial Investment: $100,000
Monthly Contribution: 0
Final Balance: $146,353
Nominal Compounded Annualized Return (CAR) net of fees: 5.66%
Real Compounded Annualized Return net of fees and inflation: 2.02%

While 5.66% CAR is solid but nothing to write home about, the amazing thing is that, even with the massive inflation shock and other market disruptions we experienced, the compounded real return net of inflation was still 2.02% for a static portfolio.

Now let’s look at the numbers if we added a modest monthly contribution of of $250, which is 3% of the initial portfolio balance annually:

Initial Investment: $100,000
Monthly Contribution: $250
Final Balance: $170,122
Nominal Compounded Annualized Return (CAR) net of fees: 7.98%
Real Compounded Annualized Return net of fees and inflation: 4.27%

A steady, modest, contribution to the portfolio took the CAR from uninspiring to fantastic both in nominal and inflation adjusted returns in spite of the largest inflation shock in 2 generations! The additional 2.3% COMPOUNDED nominal return required no thought, no market timing and no mental anguish. In fact, just turning your brain off and adhering to a predetermined investment plan cranked up your compounded annual return by 40%! So while the last 6 years and 11 months have been okay for owning assets, they have been an excellent time period for accumulating assets throughout the market’s ups and especially the downs.

Just to drive the point home here are the numbers for a still reasonable $500 monthly contribution or 6% annual contribution to the portfolio:

Initial Investment: $100,000
Monthly Contribution: $500
Final Balance: $193,891
Nominal Compounded Annualized Return (CAR) net of fees: 10.05%
Real Compounded Annualized Return (CAR) net of fees and inflation: 6.26%

With a 6% annual contribution the portfolio would have generated a double digit CAR and significantly outperformed the highest inflation we have experienced since the 1970s.

Humble Brag Alert: This type of broadly diversified, steady investing is exactly what SLWM preaches. The shocks to the system have been generational and one, the global pandemic, was once in a century. Yet the simplest and most boring approach to investing has yet again provided remarkable, wealth building results.

So where are we now as we enter 2024? Trick question! The answer is it doesn’t matter. Investing is and always will be risky. The true source of risk for investors are negative shocks we can’t anticipate, not the ones we can. (In academic finance parlance these are termed ‘unknown unknowns’.) So we control what we can by implementing a steady investment approach with broad diversification and a long time horizon governed by an investment plan created from a calm and cool assessment of your financial goals and situation. This is what sets an investor up for the highest probability of long term success.

That said, I think 2024’s setup looks good. Most economists are expecting the mild recession that never materialized in 2023 to come in 2024. This wouldn’t be a surprise as historically it takes about 12-18 months for rate hikes to start to impact the economy. (If we had invested based on this consensus prediction we would have sat out while the SP500 rallied over 20% YTD!) The difference now is that with rates at 5.25% if things slow the Fed has a lot of room to cut rates to restimulate the economy should the slowdown become concerning. Another major difference is that most homeowners have locked in mortgage rates between 3-4% so the rate increases have not had a major impact on debt servicing costs. Combine this with the solid growth in wages over the past 2 years and household balance sheets remain healthy. Inflation should continue downwards but the path will be bumpy from here to the 2% Fed target. With high quality bonds providing a baseline return of 4-6% expecting equities to perform in the high single digits is not a stretch. Broadly diversified portfolios should be expected to perform in the mid to high single digits barring some sort of exogenous shock either to the up or downside. As I have written about before, however, the economy and markets are not linear but are driven by secondary and tertiary effects that often are interrelated. It’s best not to get too caught up in all this… Happy New Year!!

WEEKEND POEM

In 1996, Wislawa Szymborska (l923-2012) won the most money in the history of Nobel awards and the most money ever won by a poet: $1.2 million. You or I might have upgraded our real estate. She stayed in her small apartment — a fifth-floor walk-up. Her output was small, just 350 poems. Why so few? “I have a trash can in my home.”

My nonarrival in the city of N.

took place on the dot.

You’d been alerted

in my unmailed letter.

You were able not to be there

at the agreed-upon time.

The train pulled up at platform 3.

A lot of people got out.

My absence joined the throng

as it made its way toward the exit.

Several women rushed

to take my place

in all that rush.

WEEKEND RECIPE: CELERY AND APPLE STUFFED ROAST CHICKEN

from Lee Bailey

serves 6

2 2.5 lb. chickens
1 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. black pepper
1 cup butter, softened
1 handful celery leaves
1 large cooking apple, peeled and cored

Gravy:
1 Tbsp. butter, softened
2 Tbsp. flour
1 cup chicken stock, heated
1 Tbsp. chopped chives

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Wash and dry chickens, mix salt and pepper into softened butter. Chop apple and celery leaves. Alternately stuff chickens with softened butter and apples and celery leaves. Reserve a bit of butter for tops of chickens.

Place chickens breast side up on rack in roasting pan. Smear rest of butter over chickens. Bake an hour and 15 minutes, basting occasionally. Remove chickens to warm platter.

To make gravy, mush butter and flour together to make paste. Pour fat out of roasting pan and add hot stock. Swirl around and scrape up crispy bits in pan. Thicken with the flour butter mixture and cook until thickened, about 15 minutes. Season with salt and pepper and garnish with chives.