Products |
SURVIVING THE PANDEMIC: Plague fatigue. Impatience. “Tone.” And then… a thumbs-up.
By
Published: Apr 09, 2020
Category:
Pandemic: Dispatches and Essentials
My parents were screamers, so it’s no surprise I do everything I can to avoid situations where someone is yelling. And I try never to be the one who’s raised his voice.
Except, apparently, yesterday.
It started in the morning, when a friend, a fellow writer, sent me the video of the English doctor at exactly the same moment the Butler went out with videos of Chris Cuomo and the English doctor. A few minutes later, this response: “Does Cuomo have pre-existing conditions?” If you watched the video, you know he talks about that… right at minute one. So I asked: “Did you watch the video?” The reply: “We are tech-challenged where I live.” I replied: “But you were able to watch the English video.” The reply was about my tone. I replied that my “tone” was about 1) having a lot to do and 2) living, unlike my friend, just across the river from an ever growing fleet of refrigerator trucks. The conversation…devolved. The best thing I did at that point was not insisting on the — literal — last word.
Then a friend reposted the Chris Cuomo interview on Facebook. A commentator: “Cuomo’s not a doctor — why listen to him?” I replied, with some restraint: “This is medical advice. From a doctor. Try reading it again. Slowly. Maybe aloud.” I typed, then erased: “It’s ok to move your lips, we can’t see you.”
I know some of the reasons I was short-tempered yesterday. It’s plague fatigue. But worse: It’s the sense of fake closure. That’s the new Fox thing: It’s over. It never happened, really. Only a few people died, fewer than we feared. Go back to work.
And, of course, it’s a Trump thing. Yesterday, he tweeted:
“Once we OPEN UP OUR GREAT COUNTRY, and it will be sooner rather than later, the horror of the Invisible Enemy, except for those that sadly lost a family member or friend, must be quickly forgotten. Our Economy will BOOM, perhaps like never before!!!”
Advice to Dr. Fauci: Get someone to start your car for you. Because, science be damned, America is about to be open for business. Ignore those predictions that we’ll be locked down until… June. Daddy knows best. And Laura Ingraham. And the right wing Christians.
I went out for a walk along the river. Masked people on benches, appropriately spaced. Beneath his mask, one man seemed sad. Behind my mask, I felt him. I made the thumbs-up gesture and pointed to him. It was like an elbow bump, at distance. Behind his mask, his eyes smiled. He returned the gesture. I thought: On the street, I’ll look right at people. I’ll do this again.
This morning, I read this, in The New Yorker, about John Prine:
He always looked just a little bemused, in part because his eyes were narrowed and slightly arched, curled into a sort of permanent smile. It takes an exceptionally kind-hearted person to sing the whole messy, stupid story of what it means to be human—the cruel and indulgent things we do, the way that we love — and make it sound so logical. I don’t know if there’s a word for what people felt when they saw him play; it’s the kind of soft gratitude that wells up when you look at someone and feel only thankful that they exist, and that you got to breathe the same air for a little while.
And I thought: Make Prine your model. Remember: We’re all doing the best we can. Have compassion.
With an asterisk: Exceptions may be made for the truculent and lazy.
IF YOU’RE MAKING MASKS
From Beth Clements, novelist and author of The Perfect Patchwork Primer and The Quilt Design Workbook:
Dear DIY maskmakers – if you have been reading online or NYT advice about what to make masks out of, heed this from an old and long-time quiltmaker. I DO have a basement full of fabrics, which I’ve been testing and working with all week for weight, weave and breathability. Modern fabrics, by which I mean anything you are likely to have on hand from the last 40 years, are bathed in chemicals. Especially quilt fabrics (so touted by the NYT.) But also pajama flannel – loaded with fire retardants. Before you use such for face masks, wash fabrics in hot water, and iron with as hot an iron as you can. If you get any kind of chemical or perfumey scent from the fabric during ironing, think hard about whether you should be breathing through it. The fiber arts world is littered with people with auto-immune disorders and worse from working with these dyes, sizings, and finishes. You are probably better off with a less-perfect fabric type that has been washed a hundred times, like really good cotton shirting in two or more layers. One non-scientist’s opinion …
MOST AWFUL HEADLINE OF THE DAY
Federal Support Ends For Coronavirus Testing Sites As Pandemic Peak Nears
A SONG FOR FATHERS
Kleenex time. Max Ferguson — he and his family are safe in Tel Aviv — sent this song about daughters. Loudon Wainwright sings it. Some of the lyrics:
And that’s my daughter in the water
I lost every time I fought her
Yeah, I lost every time
Every time she blinks, she’d strike somebody blind
Everything she thinks blows her tiny mind
That’s my daughter in the water
Who’d have ever thought her?
Who’d have ever thought?
GOOD CITIZENSHIP AWARD: HEARST
I had the honor of helping legendary Hearst CEO Frank Bennack on his book. The title says it all: Leave Something on the Table: and Other Surprising Lessons for Success in Business and in Life. The introduction ends with this:
It’s not currently fashionable to make the case for the high road. It looks longer, and old-fashioned, and it’s easy to conclude that while you’re climbing the ladder, burdened by your values, others are reaching the top faster. But if the stories in these pages suggest a broader truth, it’s exactly the opposite: The high road is quicker, with a better view along the way, and more satisfaction at the summit.
I believe there is one unchanging North Star. It isn’t what you know, and how hard you work, and how clever you are. It’s not even who you know. It’s how other people know you. It’s who you are.
Frank’s successor, Steve Swartz, understands that good conduct is good business. Newhouse is gutting local papers. But here’s Hearst:
Hearst promises journalists at its newspapers no furloughs, no pay cuts
Bucking the newspaper industry trend, Hearst Corporation has told its newsrooms there will be no layoffs, no furloughs and no pay cuts during the course of coronavirus coverage.
In fact, Hearst CEO Steven Swartz told publishers and editors in a conference call this week, the company is giving a 1% bonus to all employees, will create an added bonus merit pool later and is waiving the budget targets that determine executive bonuses.
In addition, the company is taking out six-figure TV ad buys in some markets to promote the papers and their pandemic coverage.
TODAY’S BOOK
Thich Nhat Hanh: Teachings on Love
Here’s an oddity — a celibate Buddhist monk writing about romantic love. Well, so be it. This is perhaps a wise man’s wisest book.
Love is key to Thich Nhat Hanh because, he says, everything else flows from it. The first sentence of the book: “Happiness is only possible with true love.” And what is true love?
It starts with loving yourself. Loving yourself first. Loving yourself most.
Thich Nhat Hanh is a lovely, graceful writer. Mostly, he speaks from the heart, avoiding the technical language of Buddhist practice. And he has a gift for getting the reader’s attention with stories. Like this:
One day King Prasenajit of Koshala asked Queen Mallika, “My dear wife, is there anyone who loves you as much as yourself?”
The Queen laughed and responded, “My dear husband, is there anyone who loves you more than you love yourself?”
The next day they told the Buddha of their conversation. He said, “You are correct. There is no one in the universe more dear to us than ourselves. The mind may travel in a thousand directions, but it will find no one else more beloved. The moment you see how important it is to love yourself, you will stop making others suffer.”
[To read more, click here. To buy the 183-page book from Amazon, click here. For the Kindle edition, click here.]
STREAMING: “UNORTHODOX”
I’ve read that this Netflix series is a new favorite.
It’s an adaption of a book. I met the author, Deborah Feldman, and reviewed her book in 2012: Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots [To buy the paperback, click here. For the Kindle edition, click here.]
That was the most hated review I’ve ever published – the Satmars went nuts:
“Their grievances with Deborah Feldman are two. First, she left the community. Second, she wrote a book.
These grievances are connected. She could not have written a book like this if she had stayed in the community. Because she left the community, her book is full of lies.
And then there’s this idiot, this shallow whore of a reviewer. Because that’s what I am to the Satmars: a fool for believing Feldman. Worse than a fool, really. “I’ve checked you out, and you write gossip,” a Satmar woman told me. ”You’re no different from Barbara Walters.”
TODAY’S MUSIC: NICK DRAKE
The pink moon reminded me. Remember this VW commercial?
For more exquisite Nick Drake music, click here.
TODAY’S POEM
From Bertolt Brecht: Selected Poems
Traveling in a comfortable car
Down a rainy road in the country
We saw a ragged fellow at nightfall
Signal to us for a ride, with a low bow.
We had a roof and we had room and we drove on
And we heard me say, in a grumpy voice: No,
we can’t take anyone with us.
We had gone on a long way, perhaps a day’s march
When suddenly I was shocked by this voice of mine
This behavior of mine and this
Whole world.
TODAY’S ESSENTIAL: Mane ‘n Tail Shampoo + Conditioner
If my 30 years as a user of the shampoo and conditioner are a guide, it has these selling points:
1) It makes your hair look clean and thick.
2) It can be used safely on all hair types and for chemically treated hair.
3) You can use it on your dog.
4) It lasts forever and could not possibly be cheaper.
ESSENTIALS AND DISPATCHES: For supplements, creams, and other possibly necessary items, click here.
