Books |
Pema Chodron: Awakening Loving-Kindness
By
Published: May 02, 2023
Category:
Self Help
Longtime Butler readers know I promote Pema Chodron every chance I get — her no-bullshit Buddhism makes sense even if you have no interest in Buddhism. The full-length book to read first is When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times — a title so relevant you’ll be surprised to learn it was published in 1995. This book is an abridgment of The Wisdom of No Escape and the Path of Loving Kindness. Turning that book into a pocket-sized paperback, with short chapters, was a publishing masterstroke. If you ride a subway or ride a bus or sit in a waiting room, it’s surely better nourishment than anything you’re currently consuming on your phone. And if you read a bit just before bed, as I do, I can attest it has the power to slip into your dreams, alleviate misery, and suggest the possibility of peace.
When Pema Chodron gave some talks in 1989, she didn’t bother warming the audience up. She just laid it out:
There’s a common misunderstanding among all the human beings who have ever been born on the earth that the best way to live is to try to avoid pain and just try to get comfortable. You can see this even in insects and animals and birds. All of us are the same.
A much more interesting, kind, adventurous, and joyful approach to life is to begin to develop our curiosity, not caring whether the object of our inquisitiveness is bitter or sweet. To lead a life that goes beyond pettiness and prejudice and always wanting to make sure that everything turns out on our own terms, to lead a more passionate, full, and delightful life than that, we must realize that we can endure a lot of pain and pleasure for the sake of finding out who we are and what this world is, how we tick and how our world ticks, how the whole thing just is.
Short version: Life is hard. Don’t wait until you “get it together” to work at being your best self — the self you’ve got is what you’ve got to work with. [She traces her Karma Kaygu lingeage, and, in a hilarious paragraph, shows how some of the Buddhist saints we may be tempted to revere were drunks, abusers, even murderers.] But there’s no need to get all grim about your bad character. “Playfulness” awaits. First, though, you must accept that you are where you are, feel what you feel, think what you think — and get that’s okay. [To buy the paperback from Amazon, click here. For the Kindle edition, click here.]
Her definitions are provocative. Gentleness: “a sense of good-heartedness toward ourselves.” Our true nature: “who we are right now.” Joy:”seeing how big, how completely unobstructed, and how precious things are.” The sacred circle: “You’re standing in the middle of it, and that’s your whole life.” Our life’s work: use what we have been given to wake up.” Hell: “It’s just resistance to life.”
There’s more about meditation than you may want. No matter. Her message is even simpler than breathing in and out. “You could start right now,” she says. “Now. now. Now.” And we could, though we put it off. Try hard not to.
