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Money
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Published: Jan 01, 2006
Category:
Beyond Classification
The best things in life are free. But they’re much more enjoyable if you live somewhere with walls and a ceiling, have a full larder, wear clothes crisp enough to win smiles on the street. In other words, if you have money.
"Do you ever think about money?" Ezra Pound once sent that question on a postcard to Henry Miller. This was a wicked joke — as Pound well knew, Miller was dead broke at the time. As a result, he was thinking about money more than he was thinking about sex, which is never a happy imbalance.
Miller’s response was to dash off an essay about money. Among his thoughts: "To walk in money through the night crowd, protected by money, lulled by money, dulled by money, the crowd itself a money, the breath money, no least single object anywhere that is not money. Money, money everywhere and still not enough! And then no money, or a little money, or less money, or more money but money always money. and if you have money, or you don’t have money, it is the money that counts, and money makes money, but what makes money make money?"
Been there, done that. You too, I imagine.
(If you want to read an unforgettable short story on that theme, here’s D.H. Lawrence’s The Rocking Horse Winner — free!)
Tax time has the same effect on me, no matter how much or little money I have. As I write, my accountant has just completed my tax returns. I’m thinking about the B1Bomber I’m buying the government. And feeling…pinched.
You also may be more money-conscious than usual these days. With that in mind, here are some books and a movie that can help you make more, save more or just get a better attitude about money.
After Leaving Mr. Mackenzie
Jean Rhys specialized in writing fiction driven by money. Her women never have enough. And, too often, the only way they have to get money is to prey on the sympathies of men who prey on them. I can’t think of another writer who makes genteel poverty this terrifying. A very motivating novel.
The Only Investment Guide You’ll Ever Need
The antidote to Jean Rhys. There are hundreds of ‘experts’ who will tell you how easy it is to amass a fortune in real estate, with no money down. They don’t demand discipline. Or sacrifice. To them, the world is a giant sundae, with a cherry on top. There it is — pluck it! None of the easy path for Andrew Tobias. His precepts are clear. And simple. (Just hard to follow.) 1) Live below your means. 2) Save 10% of every dollar you earn. 3) Invest in the stock market via index funds. 4) Stay the course. An essential book if ever there was one.
The Experts’ Guide to 100 Things Everyone Should Know How to Do
It’s cheaper to do it once and do it right than to scrimp and have endless do-overs. Samantha Ettus decided the world needed a "Cliff’s Notes to life," and she set about creating a small, fact-filled how-to book. She’s one smart cookie. Instead of mastering 100 Key Facts of Life herself, she turned to experts. And then she divided their contributions into sections built around time of day: morning life, work life, home life, weekend life, the big life. Do as they say and you’ll think more clearly, have less clutter, feel smarter.
The Experts’ Guide to Life at Home
Samantha Ettus is back, with a narrower focus: life at home. And, again, there are a hundred experts, ranging from Al Roker (on barbeque) to Heloise (on dust). The organization is organic. First, Ettus shows you how to ‘nest’ and ‘protect,’ then how to ‘improve’ and ‘beautify’ your home, and finally how to ‘relate’ and ‘enjoy.’ It’s a huge arc, from getting a mortgage to learning to be happy — read this book in a single sitting and you’ll feel equal parts inspired and exhausted.
The Big Sister’s Guide to the World of Work
The world of work has its own rules. They were not made up by women, or even, perhaps, by human beings. Those rules are blatantly unfair and will always be. They inhibit creativity. They stifle self-expression on the job. They make anything but superficial friendship impossible. In short, these rules exist to make every employee a functional tool of a profitable corporation. You don’t like those rules? Go into business for yourself. Or marry for money. But don’t think you can change them, or skibble around them, or be some kind of exception. That way lies corporate death. And you want success. Even if you have to turn into a Stepford Employee to get it.
Poker as Life: 101 Lessons from the World’s Greatest Game
The author put himself through college playing cards, and I’d be willing to bet it wasn’t a community college. He has played at every level. He has read a book or three — he quotes philosophers with the same flair as he cites poker gurus — and he can writing a charming sentence. Which is not to say he has much desire to be your friend. This book has one theme, and it is tough love. That’s the right tone. You are going to play poker, money will be involved — you want someone to deliver reassurances of your personal goodness? If so, get a dog. If not, shut up and pay attention.
Healthy Aging: A Lifelong Guide to Your Physical and Spiritual Well-Being
The trick is to live to a ripe old age, with all of your marbles and your body intact, then die fast and painlessly. Along the way, you want to pay as few doctors as possible. Andrew Weil shows you how.
Local Hero
The wittiest movie about money — and a lot of other things. An oil executive in Houston (Peter Reigert) is sent to a small town on the Scottish coast by his eccentric boss (Burt Lancaster) to buy up everything in sight. Then the oil company will build a giant refinery. Riches are soon on everyone’s mind — in Houston and in Scotland. Mark Knopfler did the exquisite soundtrack. You provide the happy ending.
And, of course, Head Butler. Free now. And, I hope, forever. A dream gift to money-conscious friends for Passover, Easter, graduation, marriage, Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, and all the days in between — and so easy to give all you have to do is forward the link.
