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Life’s Little Annoyances: True Tales of People Who Just Can’t Take It Anymore
Ian Urbina
By
Published: Jan 01, 2006
Category:
Non Fiction
Life’s Little Annoyances: True Tales of People Who Just Can’t Take It Anymore
Ian Urbina
Ian Urbina, a Washington-based reporter for The New York Times, was on temporary assignment in Manhattan. He didn’t care where he lived or who else lived there, so he ended up with roommates he never saw. But he knew they were in residence, because whenever he left a pint of ice cream in the freezer someone would eat some.
Over time, that someone would eat more. A taste became a third of a pint. And then, one night, Urbina came home to discover just a single spoon left.
He didn’t know which roommate to confront. But he did know how to get revenge.
He bought a fresh pint of Heath Bar Crunch. He skimmed a bit off the top and replaced it with a thin layer of salt — “natural and edible, it would also avoid sickness, not to mention a lawsuit, if unwittingly consumed.”
Someone took the bait. And was she pissed! She shot off an e-mail to Urbina. To his amusement, she never acknowledged “the sheer genius of my booby trap.” But she did have a label for his personality: “passive-aggressive.”
As Urbina told this story to friends, he realized that “passive-aggressive” behavior is often the ideal response to the petty annoyances we encounter daily. Indeed, passive-aggressive responses not only exact a few ounces of revenge, they are survival tools. They tell us we don’t have to be on the losing end of every transaction. That we can get back at the small stupidities of giant corporations.
“Life’s Little Annoyances” is a 185-page collection of revenge stories. If you are looking for a gift book — a present for a colleague, a stocking stuffer or get-well gesture for a sick friend — look no further. This book is one giggle after another, sometimes even a full chortle. And it has a bonus: It is wise. And makes you wise. To read it is to become a bit more awake about the world around us.
Some examples:
Urbina writes: “Nothing tortures the psyche more than being trapped in a room with the voice of Geraldo Rivera lecturing about the decline of American culture.” But if you’re in a waiting room or airport lobby, there you are — getting battered. Mitch Altman did something about it. He invented a device called TV-B-Gone — a universal remote that kills TV audio.
Christine Hanson loves coffee, but doesn’t love Starbucks. So she launched a website to tell you where you can get coffee in any Starbucks-infested neighborhood.
Customer service reps just read scripts. That annoys Stewart Dean. So when someone sweetly asks, “Is there anything else I can do for you,” he says, “Sure. Would you please get Bush out of the White House?”
E.L. Kersten worked for a troubled company. The firm’s response was to post encouraging slogans. Kersten and some friends countered with reality-based posters: “Get to work! You’re not being paid to believe in the power of your dreams.”
A tall man in a coach seat on a long flight — you know the person in front of him is going to lean back and further reduce the tall guy’s mobility. Ira Goldman invented the Knee Defender — two plastic wedges you insert in your tray table to keep the creep in front from reclining. (He’s sold thousands at $15.)
My favorite is about those people who can’t get through the day without forwarding a dozen e-mails containing jokes or consumer warnings. Like the chain letter you dare not break. Linda Matthews created a reply: “Christopher Hill received this letter, did not pass it on, and got a raise.”
A very funny book. Life being what it is, I await volume 2.
To buy “Life’s Little Annoyances” from Amazon.com, click here.
To buy the Audio CD (recorded by Stanley Tucci and Ian Urbina) from Amazon.com, click here.
