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Holidays 2005: Things

By Jesse Kornbluth
Published: Jan 01, 2005
Category: Beyond Classification

 

 
Holidays 2005: Things
 

When I cast my net over greatness, it’s usually for brain and soul food — books, movies, music. Possessions? Clothes? Things? All that’s just not me. Given a choice between a thing and an experience, I’ll take the experience. (On the other hand, if you have a Degas pastel you think I should have, don’t stifle the impulse.)

But I have heard the rumor that we are living in a material world. And I do know that man (and woman) does not live by brain and soul food alone. And then there’s the idea that a little variety makes everything spicier.

So….things.

This year, there’s pretty much only one thing: Apple’s iPod. It transformed our culture, drove the stock, defined the year. It’s what to give, what to get. You can fight it if you like; I’m a Pod Person.

There are other things here, some whimsical, some useful, some beautiful. Your family and friends will, I bet, forgive you — and thank you — if you drop them into the package that’s built around books, music and movies.

Shure E3c Sound Isolating Earphone Stereo Headphone

Butler lacks the technical vocabulary, but he gathers that the big difference between these and standard iPod earphones is that the standard phones pump up the bass. Yes, you get a big sound. Just not the sound that was intended.

A savvy Amazon buyer says it better: “The ‘3’s do not overpower you with bass. They deliver your music to you as your favorite musicians intended for you to hear it. What you are paying for with these headphones is ACCURACY. Those tight, crisp high-hats bucketed in syncopated pockets of time that you may have not even heard before will elude you no longer, once you get the ‘3’s. The slight tune-decay of those analog synth chords that you’re supposed to hear just upon the release of the keys on your favorite 70’s fusion recordings would send chills through any jazz/funk afficionado like myself, but you’ll never hear ’em without these puppies. The raw, airy echo of live drums that manifests the musically intended mood of good music more than almost any other component or aspect will be kept from you no longer once you are down with the ‘3’s.”

Translation: You want these. You really want these.

Speakers for your iPod

Why do you want speakers? Because, if you have not discovered this already, the iPod can easily become the central repository of your music collection, holding not just the faves you’ve downloaded but songs you’ve bought from iTunes. Because it’s faster to launch music on the iPod than it is to find the CD you want and load it in your changer. Because blasting music directly into your head is, over time, unnatural. And because you travel.

Butler has field-tested the most popular iPod speaker systems. Because different people have different needs, no effort was made to pick The One. Instead, the goal was Best of Breed. And there are, in Butler’s view, three breeds…

Griffin iTrip Transmitter for iPod

Did you not see that the time would come when you would need to use your iPod in your car for hours at a time?  Then skibble right over to Amazon.com — sure, you can say, “Oh, Amazon!” like they’re baby-killers, and you can stamp your foot and buy this device at a real store, if, that is, you don’t mind paying $40 for an item Amazon sells for $23 — and buy the Griffin FM iTrip transmitter.

Griffin? Sure looks like an Apple product. A sleek white tube, with a neat peg. Insert it on top of your iPod. Tune your FM radio to 87.9. Press Play. And your music pours out from your car stereo’s speakers.

We used it on a pontoon boat cruising the Ohio River one scorching weekend, and although the transmitter is one more drain on the iPod battery, we had hours and hours of flawlessly delivered music. And it was a great help, at the end of our visit, when we had an hour’s drive through rural Kentucky and didn’t feel like listening to Country Classics.

Yes, you thought you were done when you bought the iPod. Yes, it turns out you have simply added another line of must-have products to your life — when you thought you were streamlining and simplifying. Oh, well. Can’t be helped. This is good stuff. And small. And pretty. Soon every iPod will want one.

‘Vote for Pedro’ T-shirt

Pedro Sanchez. You know, the Mexican kid in Napoleon Dynamite who becomes Napoleon’s friend. Who then takes on the totally buffed, certain-to-win Summer Wheatley in the big election for Student Council President of the Preston, Idaho high school. Who pledges, “Vote for me, and your wildest dreams will come true.”

Pedro has few qualifications. Let’s see. He can grow a moustache in a few days. He can, says Napoleon, offer you his protection. Oh, and he’s got a “sweet” bike.

As a politician, Pedro has liabilities. Maybe it wasn’t wise to put “Vote for Pedro” signs right in the urinals. And the pinata with Summer’s face on it…well, as the principal says, “Look, Pedro, I don’t know how they do things down in Juarez, but here in Idaho we have a little something called pride. Understand? Smashing in the face of a pinata that resembles Summer Wheatley is a disgrace to you, me, and the entire Gem State.

I’d admit: Pedro isn’t everybody’s candidate. But he does win the election. And wearing his campaign shirt can help you score “hot babes” — or, for you females, “hot guys.”

Head Butler’s One-Stop Coffee Kit

Connoisseurs have taken to talking about coffee as if it were wine. There are ‘top notes.’ There is ‘finish.’ There are ‘hints’ and ‘undercurrents.’ I loathe that pretense. Great coffee tastes really good — how’s that for a way of judging it? By that standard, Peace Coffee is unfailingly superior. They take care at every stage of the process — buying, roasting, packaging, shipping — and so, when you break the seal on a pound of Peace beans, you know you’re going to have a good experience and a delicious cup of joe. Every time. Without fail.

You will also need a grinder. A coffee maker. A carafe. Well, I’ve thought of them all. And picked some good ones, so you can give a complete kit.

Harry and David Gourmet Moose Munch Bars

Caramel popcorn. Chocolate truffle fondant. Nuts: almonds and cashews. Toffee bits. Chocolate (two kinds).

$16 (plus shipping) buys you just three Munch Bars. But each is 12 ounces. And you really can’t have more than one a day. So…yes, this is one costly confection. But then, after you have one, it’s really an addiction.

Juniper Ridge Western Wild Goods

Juniper Ridge Western Wild Goods  make me feel connected to ideas like “sustainable” and “integrity” and “quality” when I drink the tea or use the soap, or whatever. I also get a different sense of time — no instant teas, no magic infusions — and, though this is an odd word to use about natural products, which are often rough-hewn and kitschy, Juniper Ridge stuffs gives me a heightened connection to beauty. Simple beauty, that is. Real beauty.

At holiday season, the standout item is the Sangre de Cristo Sagebrush Wreath . It’s dry and grey/white as the desert, and not a pine cone or ribbon in sight. I find it gorgeous. And imagine the smell.

But there’s so much more. Here are some other favorites:

Gift Pack of 4 Wild Herb Soaps  – The scents are a refreshing change from soaps laden with cold creams and chemicals.

Douglas Fir Spring Tip Tea  – As you go through life, things start tasting like variations of other things. This is a New Event.

Cold and Flu Wild Herb Tinctures – Read this description of Lomatium (from the catalogue): “It may make you feel worse at first, because as your immune system picks up the pace, your symptoms, which are caused by immune system activity, become similarly worse. But wouldn’t you rather feel worse for a short amount of time and just get it over with than let it drag on endlessly?” Hey, it’s your health, and not to be trifled with — but don’t you kinda feel you can trust this guy?

Bracing stuff. Maybe there is something to things….