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Gifts for Difficult Recipients

By Jesse Kornbluth
Published: Jan 01, 2004
Category: Beyond Classification

 

GIFTS FOR DIFFICULT RECIPIENTS

It’s not that these folks are hard to please. It’s that they don’t fit easily into a neat demographic. (In fact, nobody does. But many people have been persuaded that they are X and Y, which sure makes it easy for marketers to sell stuff to them.) So start by thinking of that hard-to-please friend as you may well think of yourself: as a “group of one.” Happily, Butler sees you all as individuals. And — probably delusionally — he believes he can help you without breaking a sweat.

One way to approach gift-giving is not to look for ONE gift, but to create what I call “kits” — unrelated items that clearly show you have given your recipient some creative thought. I’ve done that here.

If that’s daunting or inappropriate, there is a single gift I like — for everyone: a  Juniper Ridge Gift Pack  (and do spring for the $9.95 “not your usual packing job”).

Request #1
She is a young East Indian doctor. Dedicated, eager, compassionate, mother of a 4-year-old and 9-year-old, married to a bio-scientist. Special circumstance: This fledging Oncologist is embarking on a life of sadness and joy; she knows how precious each Christmas is.

Butler’s response:
Book: I’d give this woman — even more for her than for her children —  The Polar Express. For inspiration, I might get her And There Was Light.
Music: I would need more clues.
Movies: There will be nights when she’ll come home and want to zone out in front of a television. Nothing good can come from that. Better she should watch some gentle comedies: Local Hero and The Castle.

Request #2
My 84-year-old grandpa has everything. He lives on a 500 acre farm in upstate NY, was a former salesman, horse breeder/owner, and enjoys traveling, hunting, and harassing his grandchildren about becoming Republicans.

Butler’s response:
Charity: a donation to The Heifer Project — a terrific cause that gives people in rural areas the kinds of animals that will help them be self-reliant. A “share” in a heifer costs $50. A rabbit is $60. If grandpa’s got a farm, he’ll understand this immediately.
Book: I’m thinking the audiobook — at 84, he may not want to tire his eyes with reading — of one of the most exciting stories of World War II: We Die Alone. And he’d love A.J. Liebling’s memoirs of eating his way through Paris in the 1920s: Between Meals.
Music: What could be sweeter to an 84-year-old than the voices of French schoolchildren: Les Choristes.
Movies: Does he believe they used to make them better? Then get him the 1937 masterpiece Dodsworth.

Request #3:
My  gay 35-year-old brother has rather quirky interests. Here are some of the things he loves: silly Japanese pop culture, pretty enamel spoons (not the tourist kind), some bands I’ve never heard of (like Pop! and Deep Dish), extremely luxurious bed sheets, exotic fruit like blood oranges and Yuzu grapefruit and vintage t-shirts. He’s a sweet guy and always pretends to appreciate the Banana Republic gift certificates (or whatever) I get him each year, but I’d love to surprise him with a cool gift this year.

Butler’s response:
Products: Mrs. Butler is mad for the Red Swingline Stapler. If he has a chocolate situation, let him be the first in his posse to sample Harry and David Gourmet Moose Munch Bars.
Books:
Jesus’ Son is a sick, funny, easy choice.
Music: Bet he hasn’t heard Sandy Bull.

Got questions? Butler may have answers. So…write.
— Jesse Kornbluth. for HeadButler.com