Books |
Eat, Pray
Love: Reconsidered by Elizabeth Gilbert
By
Published: Jan 01, 2007
Category:
Memoir
Timing is everything. Last week — in fact, just as her publisher was running full page ads for Elizabeth Gilbert’s "Eat, Pray, Love" — I wondered if there was someone… missing in the book.
My puzzlement was inspired by the engine that drove the memoir: her divorce. Because she dispenses with her ex-husband quickly, I couldn’t tell how much of the experience she chronicles was a reaction to her history. And intense Googling revealed nothing about this man — not even his name.
It is a well-known truth of the Internet that a smart community is smarter than its smartest member. (Which isn’t me, by the way.) In that spirit, I asked two questions: Were you bothered by the absence of the story of the end of Gilbert’s marriage? And did anyone, by chance, know anything about this man?
A flood of responses. All from women. (Has a single man — or, for that matter, a married man — read this book? Surely, I cannot be the only one.) The reactions came in three buckets.
You’re jealous. In the last 15 years, Elizabeth Gilbert has published Eat, Pray, Love and The Last American Man and Stern Men and Pilgrims and made a fortune; I’ve published four books that you can’t name. Sorry, but wrong. Every time a writer makes a fortune I’m delighted — it proves that fortunes are still to be made in this racket. And I return my attention to my manuscript and type faster.
Who cares? These readers loved the book. Even more, they loved Elizabeth Gilbert. And identified with her. These women have her back — suggest a blemish, get a fight.
There’s a problem. Maybe they’ve had therapy, maybe they know how much baggage they carry. Whatever the reasons, these readers felt unfulfilled by “Eat, Pray, Love.” One reader isolated a professional issue: “A memoir by a seasoned writer who has a book contract in hand before she starts? That’s asking for trouble.”
But enough of me. Let’s get to your responses. Thanks to all who took the time. Here are some of the best:
This book is about an escape to other worlds, and what she finds in them. It was clear the old world was unbearably sad; thus her desire for escape and her strong motivation for new experiences. As she wrote, all that pain and turbulence receded into the past, and the divorce became an afterthought. Her sadness infused her art — and that’s the only evidence of the divorce I needed. I never missed her husband.
* * * *
Her life changed the day she realized her marriage was over — and that’s the story I wanted to know about.
* * * *
I was supposed to get to know Ms. Gilbert through this book, but I just didn’t understand her — I had no connection to the circumstances that drove her to her journey. I didn’t get her love interest or her ex-husband’s anger. It made me angry as I kept reading to find out something more…
* * * *
I saw Gilbert’s omission of her husband’s name and the details of their divorce as keeping private information private — nothing more. EPL is about Gilbert’s spiritual crisis and journey; it’s not a tell-all. While I may have wondered about her husband and what happened between them (who wouldn’t?), I also recognized that it was none of my business and not really relevant to the story she was trying to tell. I respect her for demonstrating a restraint all too rare these days.
* * * *
I was very aware she was careful about what she said about her ex-husband, but I found that both admirable and appropriate. Along the lines of “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” — only better, because she does talk about their relationship but doesn’t trash him.
* * * *
No smoking gun, but I can’t shake the feeling that there’s something off here. I’m not saying she’s James Frey, but I’m not convinced this is a pure memoir. Everything’s too extreme — the highs too high, the lows too low, the colors too bright, the people too interesting. And I know that a book is life with the dull parts cut out, but the absence of the dull and the daily in these pages seems more like avoidance than good fortune. In EPL, Elizabeth Gilbert becomes “Elizabeth Gilbert.” It’s as if, while she’s writing, she knows that female readers will embrace this determined, plucky, good-humored adventurer, and so she emphasizes those aspects of her character. Nothing wrong with that — we all try to present our most attractive and compelling face to the world — but Gilbert takes the extra step of declaring whatever came before as irrelevant. Think of ELP as a do-ever. And then ask yourself: When did life give me a complete fresh start? And if I got one, wouldn’t I look for the catch?
* * * *
I didn’t miss the presence of the ex-husband in the book — at least not any more than I missed the presence of her friends and mentors, lovers, hairdressers, baristas, waitpersons, gurus, etc. I really wanted to like this book, but sadly, the author came across an ‘all about me’ in a rather dull, self-absorbed, narcissistic way. Perhaps it would be nicer to say that it was a very personal story and leave it at that?
* * * *
If her husband needed to talk, he could always go to the media. There’s something creepy about trying to get to him/expose him. It’s her story. It’s her book. Enough, already.
Okay, I cheated: One of those comments is mine. (Three guesses, and the first two don’t count.) Feel manipulated? Well, hold that thought, say I, as you consider Ms. Gilbert’s book. Haven’t read the book and don’t understand what the fuss is all about? Dive in, millions say you’ll love it. But whatever you do, don’t wait to see the movie version, starring (of course) Julia Roberts, and think you’ve experienced “Eat, Pray, Love” — by then, this memoir might be so “improved” it really could pass for fiction.
To buy “Eat, Pray, Love” from Amazon.com, click here.
To buy “The Last American Man” from Amazon.com, click here.
To buy “Stern Men” from Amazon.com, click here.
To buy “Pilgrims” from Amazon.com, click here.
