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The Big Sister’s Guide to the World of Work
Marcelle DiFalco and Jocelyn Greenky Herz
By
Published: Jan 01, 2005
Category:
Self Help
The Big Sister’s Guide to the World of Work
Marcelle DiFalco and Jocelyn Greenky Herz
Terrible title. Like something that would be night table reading for a character on ‘Sex and the City.’ When the book was still in manuscript, I told Jocelyn Greenky Herz — one of the authors, and an old friend — the title was juvenile. But you know how it is. The Marketing Department rules. Which perhaps explains why there are not one, but two subtitles: ‘The Inside Rules Every Working Girl Must Know’ and ‘How to succeed in business without ever crying.’ Gee, why stop there? Why not just slather the cover — a study in schoolgirl pastels — with pre-feminist slogans?
It’s a shame. If there were an award for ‘Best Book with the Worst Cover,’ this would be a contender.
Why, in the pile of books for women in business, is this guide so fine?
Because it describes the world as it is, not as we’d like it to be.
Refreshingly, the authors don’t see why their point-of-view needs explanation. They’ve worked. They know the deal. And it’s this: The world of work has its own rules. They were not made up by women, or even, perhaps, by human beings. Those rules are blatantly unfair and will always be. They inhibit creativity. They stifle self-expression on the job. They make anything but superficial friendship impossible. In short, these rules exist to make every employee a functional tool of a profitable corporation.
You don’t like those rules? Go into business for yourself. Or marry for money. But don’t think you can change them, or skibble around them, or be some kind of exception. That way lies corporate death. And you want success. Even if you have to turn into a Stepford Employee to get it.
So…prepare to check your personality at the door. Prepare to look hard at what’s going on. And then to think strategically about plowing through all that and getting somewhere better: an office with a door, a big salary, a modicum of respect.
‘The Big Sister’s Guide’ tells you how to get there. First, you must develop options, or you will be that virtuous worker who is too valuable where you are ever to be promoted. “Monogamy is our default mode,” the authors write. “The first thing we need to do is get in there and change the power management settings on your control panel.” Options are created when you write thank-you notes, find out what the boss’s hobbies are and get interested in them, join industry groups, be friendly to all, show up early and often, have a smart question and a positive comment, remember everyone’s name, read a good book and talk about it, take an art course. Along the way, you may make yourself a Better Person; more to the point, you’re a Better Employee. People notice this stuff…..
It gets granular. Eat before an interview; you don’t know how long it might last. No sexy clothes. But bring extra copies of your resume. Study the company’s culture; do they want reports fast, or perfect? Make them remember your name. “Only ask questions in meetings that other people can easily answer and which will make them look good.” Trust no one. Never dish about your boss. Don’t cross your arms in front of you; it makes you look defensive. Confront only when necessary. Never describe your ailments.
If you do all this, will you be a person you wouldn’t want to know — a kind of Little Mary Sunshine, but with a computer for a heart? Probably. But the company will love you. You’ll make pots of money. You’ll get promoted, or get a better job elsewhere. Which is what you said you wanted, right?
This is hard-core, boot-camp, can-you-handle-the-truth advice. It’s not for the sensitive. Or the ambivalent. Fine, those people don’t do well in companies. But you….you’re tough. As ambitious as Madonna. And you don’t want to spend a lot of time with how-to books for women. Well, here’s your book. Read it and reap.
To buy ‘The Big Sister’s Guide to the World of Work’ from Amazon.com, click here.
