Products |
Father’s Day 2016: Just because Dad is male doesn’t automatically mean he’s a jerk
By
Published: Jun 11, 2016
Category:
Beyond Classification
If you judge by the headlines, 2016 hasn’t been a good year for men. Start with the Presidential candidates. Move on to the cowboys who believe that the government stole Western grazing land. (It did… from the Indians.) Don’t forget the Stanford rapist and the judge who ruled that his distress mattered more than the damage he inflicted on his victim, the police who shoot first and lie about it, rappers who shoot first and brag about it, the trolls on Facebook and Twitter — and if I asked this site’s female readers for a list of men in their lives who just don’t get it, I’m sure they could reel off more than a few names.
But not your dad.
Or Willie Nelson.
When his son Lukas was small, he’d cry when Willie left home to tour. At 13, he came up with a solution: he’d go on tour with his father. Willie had one condition: Lukas would play rhythm guitar in the band. And off they went. Six months on the road. Six months of home schooling. Lukas is now 26, and from time to time he still plays with his father: “There’s nothing better in life to me than being onstage with my dad.”
I found a video of Willie and Lukas doing a Pearl Jam song.
Stay with me
Let’s just breathe
I’m so there. Hug and hold. And, if you must, give.
DIRTY BOOKS
A Sport and a Pastime
For me, James Salter was the most elegant writer in America. Surgical and swift, he could do more in a sentence than most of us can do in a paragraph. In 1967, he wrote an erotic 192-page novel set in France. It’s about a rich young American and a French shop girl, and you can smell the wood smoke and see the expensive sports car as it turns off the leaf-strewn road into the small French town….
Married Sex
“It’s not cheating if your wife’s there.”
Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
‘Why does good sex so often fade, even for couples who continue to love each other as much as ever? And why does good intimacy not guarantee good sex, contrary to popular belief? Can we want what we already have?’
SPORTS
Levels of the Game
Many believe that John McPhee’s account of a single match between Arthur Ashe and Clark Graebner in the semifinals at the U.S. Open in Forest Hills is the best book ever written about tennis. It certainly has drama. Ashe was not the Jackie Robinson of tennis; when he emerged in the 1960s, he was the only African-American player of note in America. Graebner was a dentist’s son and a ringer for Clark Kent. In 146 pages, you’re inside the game and inside the player’s heads at the same time as you get a revelatory portrait of a sport — and a nation — in transition. How great is that?
Johnny U: The Life and Times of John Unitas
In Johnny Unitas, we are talking about a genuine hero — and not just because he is regarded, almost universally, as the greatest football player of the first half of the twentieth century. Unitas is thrilling to read about, and to think about, because his struggle took place in the open, in real time, with the outcome uncertain and physical pain guaranteed. Unitas never complained. He never made apologies. He had a job to do, and it was his responsibility to get it done.
Branch Rickey
Jimmy Breslin: “Branch Rickey placed the first black baseball player into the major leagues. His name was Jackie Robinson. He helped clear the sidewalks for Barack Obama to come into the White House. As it only happened once in the whole history of the country, I would say that is pretty good.”
How to Speak Golf: An Illustrated Guide to Links Lingo
Because it helps to talk a good game. 125 golf terms, plus vignettes on the history of the game, garb, and equipment.
FATHERS AND SONS
The Tender Bar
J.R. Moehringer’s father, a noted disc jockey, was out of his mother’s life before J.R. was old enough to remember that he was ever around. (“My father was a man of many talents, but his one true genius was disappearing.”) His mother, suddenly poor, moves into her family’s house in Manhasset, Long Island. In that house: J.R.’s mother, grandmother, aunt and five female cousins. Also in that house: Uncle Charlie, a bartender at Dickens, a Manhasset establishment beloved by locals who appreciate liquor in quantity— “every third drink free” — and strong opinions, served with a twist. A boy needs a father. If he doesn’t have one, he needs some kind of man in his life. Or men, because it can indeed take a village…
HEROES
Churchill
This short book is not about not Churchill the God, but Churchill the extremely interesting man. Johnson piles on the detail. Yes, Churchill drank whiskey or brandy all day — “heavily diluted with water or soda.” Yes, he stayed in bed as much as possible, because the secret of life is “conservation of energy. Never stand up when you can sit down, and never sit down when you can lie down.”
Buck
Buck Brannaman specializes in the improbable. Got a skittish, poorly trained horse? A bucking bronco? A steed that seems not to care about anything? Bring that uncooperative beast to one of Buck’s clinics. Very quickly — often in a matter of minutes — he gets your horse ready to ride. No whips are involved, no threats are made. Buck’s methods call for a little stroking with a flag, a steady gaze, a gentle tone. But this is not a book about horses…
SPIRITUALITY
Crooked Cucumber: The Life and Teaching of Shunryu Suzuki
There are very, very few biographies of Zen masters, mostly because that’s the way they like it — their practice is specific, geared to the student, as impermanent as smoke. Their lives erase themselves. David Chadwick, a longtime student of Suzuki’s, thought of writing his biography. He went to ask the widow’s permission. Her advice: “Tell many funny stories.” Chadwick followed instructions. “Crooked Cucumber” is funny often, and where it is not, the writing is playful and light. Even if you don’t care about Zen, this book is a pleasure to read.
THE GREATEST HITS
Paul Simon, Stranger to Stranger
The unofficial Poet Laureate has a new CD.
Bombino
You’ve never heard anything like Bombino’s music. The foundation is a drummer who plays tight, clipped, ruthlessly propulsive time. Then it’s thundering, amped-up bass and rhythm guitars. And then there’s Bombino, amazingly inventive, constantly surprising, musical to the core. No wonder he dances when he performs — though it’s not like any dance you’ve ever seen, more like a strut-and-stutter camel walk.
Astral Weeks
Van Morrison made this breakthrough CD in 1968. It took just four days, cost less than $25,000. It promptly went on best-ever lists. And has never left — this is genius at work. A demonstration of spiritual transcendence. And it’s not just the words that transcend. The band is open, loose, inventive; this music is subtle as jazz and heart-pounding as rock. And Morrison almost seems to be having a good time — in his phrase, “stepping lightly, just like a ballerina.”
J.J. Cale
After Eric Clapton’s recording of “After Midnight,” Cale’s producer phoned him: “It might be time for you to make your move. Do an album. So get your songs together.” Cale said, ‘I’ll do a single.’ The producer said, “It’s an album market.” Cale said, “I don’t have that many songs.” The producer said: “Write some.” Three months, Cale called: “I got the songs.” He showed up, played his new songs. And every one was funky but laid-back Oklahoma magic.
Miles Davis
Everyone is jagged on “Kind of Blue.” But the quite possibly cooler choice is the soundtrack to Louis Malle’s first feature film. Miles: “Since it was about a murder and was supposed to be a suspense movie, I used this old, gloomy, dark building where I had the musicians play. I thought it would give the music atmosphere, and it did.
”
POWER
Portable Power for your phone
This device, which is about the same size as a Samsung Galaxy S3 and just a smidge thicker, is a veritable tower of power. Plug it in at night and you can use it to charge an iPhone (4-5 times), Nexus (4.1 times), Galaxy S5 (2.6 times), the Galaxy Note III (2.3 times) or an iPad (once.) It has two ports; you can charge two devices at a time. Note: It will not charge the Microsoft Surface. Cost: $29.99.
All-Terrain Portable Charger
Water-proof, temperature-proof, dirt-proof and shock-proof. Two words: military grade.
THINGS
The Filson Briefcase
“Might as well have the best.”
The Filson Duffle
You can pay less. You can’t get better.
Timex Easy Reader Watch
Because it’s $10,000 cheaper than a watch that looks and works no better.
Dimmable LED Desk Lamp
The TaoTronics LED Desk Lamp has a one-touch, 3-level dimmer and an I’m-leaving-the-room “escape timer” that turns the light off after an hour. The bulb is estimated to last 40,000 hours. The arm is adjustable. It uses 75% less electricity than an old-fashioned lamp. It folds for easy transport. It’s no heavier than a small bag of feathers. If the 5-star Amazon reviewers and I have missed something, I have no idea what it could be.
Zojirushi Stainless Steel Vacuum Insulated Mug
Hot stays hot. Cold stays cold.
DRUGS
Mental Clarity
Brahmi is said to “improve capacity for attention and focus, improve the ability to withstand emotional stress, reduce nervousness and anxiety and improve immune system function.” And I credit Ashwaghandha is said to improve memory and “protect the brain against brain cell deterioration.” In short, I’m casting a vote for Ayurvedic medicine.
GOOFS
Never Too Hungover
Can it prevent hangovers? Some swear by it.
“Maybe You Touched Your Genitals” Liquid Hand Soap
The label of this liquid hand soap features an attractive woman in a crisp white blouse and a neighborly smile shaking hands with a man in a suit.
SELF-DEALING
HeadButler.com: The 100 Essentials: Books, music and movies for people with more taste than time
The best of the best, in one place.
