Music

Go to the archives

A Date with John Waters

By Jesse Kornbluth
Published: Jan 01, 2007
Category: Rock

Those who have heeded my advice and added A John Waters Christmas to their holiday music collection need read no further. The maestro has followed that holiday-of-horrors classic with a 14-song tour of romance. Click. Buy. Savor.

Other readers may need some convincing. After all, John Waters is not exactly the filmmaker you think of on Date Night. His breakthrough feature, “Pink Flamingos,” is best remembered for a sequence in which a plus-sized transvestite named Divine — once a childhood friend of Waters in the ironically named Maryland suburb of Lutherville — follows a dog until it poops, then scoops up Nature’s own Tootsie Roll and gobbles it down. Huh? But didn’t Waters also create “Hairspray,” a why-don’t-they-understand-us drama that made an effortless transition to Broadway? Don’t be fooled — “Hairspray” is an anomaly. The last thing of interest to John Waters is PG-rated fun-for-the-whole-family.

Waters is bad to the bone, and proud of it. "To me, bad taste is what entertainment is all about,” he says. “If someone vomits watching one of my films, it’s like getting a standing ovation.”

But there is, for Waters, a critical distinction between “good bad taste and bad bad taste." You will have to decide for yourself which he has chosen here. Among the songs:

“Tonight You Belong to Me” by Patience and Prudence. I remember this as a harmless ditty for pre-teenybops. Waters: “A pure song that made me feel impure.”

“Jet Boy, Jet Girl,” by Elton Motello. Waters: “The first gay punk rock song.”

“Ain’t Got No Home,” by Clarence (“Frogman”) Henry. Waters: “This song was the first to suggest that there was such a thing as bi-sexuality.”

“In Spite of Ourselves,” by John Prine and Iris Dement. This one is for the straights. Waters: “A song about functional love — being in love for real and growing old together.”

“All I Can do is Cry,” by Ike and Tina Turner. This is the Etta James classic about a woman watching her lover get married. Waters: “You won’t believe the rage.”

“Big Girls Don’t Cry,” by Edith Massey. Waters: “the most commercial she could have ever been.”

“Johnny, Are You Queer?” by Josie Cotton. Waters: “A great dance number, no matter what your sexuality is.”

“The Right Time,” by Ray Charles. Waters: “The sexiest song on the CD.”

“If I Knew You Were Comin’ I’d’ve Baked a Cake” by Eileen Barton. Waters: “This feels like it’s about a housewife on speed who’s horny and whose date is coming over for the first time.”

Caveat: John Waters is a man who boasts, “I pride myself on the fact that my work has no socially redeeming value."

And, for decades, he has kept his word.

So do not expect to learn anything from this CD. Do not expect praise for your good taste when you break it out at parties. But neither will the Republic fall if you and your squeeze spin “A Date with John Waters” one giddy night. Because this is, in a country with a better sense of humor about sex, what used to be called “good clean fun.”

To buy “A Date with John Waters” from Amazon.com, click here.

To buy “The John Waters Movie Collection” (A Dirty Shame; Desperate Living; Female Trouble; Hairspray; Pecker; Pink Flamingos; Polyester) from Amazon.com, click here.

To buy the memoirs of John Waters, “Shock Value: A Tasteful Book About Bad Taste,” from Amazon.com, click here.