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Weekend Butler: Aaron Judge. Anthony Bourdain. A Steven King joke. A soup recipe. A powerful fake commercial. And more.
Published: Oct 05, 2022
Category:
Weekend
BREATHE IN. BREATHE OUT. BREATHE IN. BREATHE OUT.
A close friend is so stressed by the mid-term elections that she’s flying to Mexico and walking the beach that week. I can’t blame her. If anything, I think: why wait? Because in addition to the election, there’s plenty to get your heart racing and your head hurting.
Just yesterday, for example, the former President asked the Supreme Court to intervene in the Mar-a-Lago documents case. Of course. Anything to delay bad news until after the mid-terms. But that’s not what makes you want to scream. It’s that Trump’s suit was directed to…. you guessed it… Justice Clarence Thomas. Why? Politico explains:
The application was directed to Thomas because the stay removing the roughly 100 documents with classification markings from the special master process was granted by the Atlanta-based 11th Circuit, which Thomas oversees. Thomas is likely to refer Trump’s request to the full court for action, as is typical when disputes are high-profile or when an application might gain traction with some justices.
Breathe in. Breathe out. And consider Aaron Judge, who hit his 62nd home run on the next to the last day of the season to break the record set by Roger Maris in 1961.
“A big relief,” he said afterward.
But not exactly a big surprise. Judge sets high goals: “Every year, I think I can go out there and hit 70 homers.”
Did he need to breathe in, breathe out?
“The games started to go a little faster. Usually they kind of drag on and you’re locked in on your at-bats, on defense and stuff like that. But I can’t lie: the past couple games I’d look up and it’s the seventh inning and go, ‘Dang, I only got one more at-bat. We got to figure this out.’ I really never tried to look at a schedule because I think I’d start pressing a little bit. I tried to take it one day at a time and say a little prayer.”
“I kind of felt bad for my teammates because every single at-bat, I got teammates stacked up on the top step waiting for me to do this, and I’d hit a double or get a walk or I’d do something and I felt like I was letting them down. Even the fans at Yankee Stadium or the fans that came here these past two games, I thought I had let them down if I had a 2-for-4 game or 1-for-4 game with a couple walks. I never tried to think about it as pressure. I tried to enjoy every single moment.”
Breathe in. Breathe out. Now think about Anthony Bourdain.
I’ve read “Down and Out in Paradise: The Life of Anthony Bourdain” and will review it when it’s published next week. It’s like a horror movie — so many times I wanted to shout, “Don’t go through that door” — but of course Bourdain lost focus to the point that suicide seemed the only way out of his troubles. [To buy the book from Amazon, click here. For the Kindle edition, click here.]
The short answer is that Bourdain was unhinged by his love for the wrong woman. Asia Argento is an actress, intense and independent, and completely capable of sleeping with another man and posting photos while her lover was imploding. But that’s too easy. Add drugs. Incessant travel. Exhaustion. “I hate my fans, too. I hate being famous. I hate my job,” Bourdain texted his ex-wife. “I am lonely and living in constant uncertainty.”
Bourdain’s family has attacked Charles Leerhsen’s reporting. I find it impeccable. And I completely believe that, in summing up, he found the correct long view: “You need to have a lot of things go right in your life before you can become as miserable as Anthony Bourdain, by his late 50s, found himself — that is, before you can work your way to a position where you have so much to lose. In Tony’s case it took decades to reach a height from which falling would matter.”
Bourdain didn’t have far to fall when he killed himself. Argento broke up with him. This was their last exchange:
Bourdain: Is there anything I can do?
Argento: Stop busting my balls.
Bourdain: OK.
“When things didn’t go well, he frequently threatened to hang himself from the shower curtain rod,” Leerhsen writes. “In the event, though, he hanged himself… from a doorknob, in a sitting position, leaning forward until he blacked out and then was asphyxiated.”
Bourdain’s daughter was 11 when he killed himself. He loved her dearly. It’s hard to imagine the magnitude of pain that would make him choose to stop breathing instead of choosing to live for her. But it’s not at all hard to understand that his daughter had to be taken home midway through the memorial service.
My daughter is 20. Right there is the first reason I’d never stop breathing by my own hand. But she’s not the reason, on these last few chilly, rainy mornings, that I’ve been the only one on the track, walking my steps, jogging my laps. I want to be the Aaron Judge of aged dads. I want to hit 70 home runs. And I want something like that for you.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
NATIONAL BOOK AWARD FINALISTS: HOW MANY HAVE YOU READ?
These are the finalists for the National Book Awards. I’ve read none. I could wonder: What does that say about me? Or I could wonder: What does it say about the choice of these books?
A BRILLIANT BUT FAKE CHEVRON COMMERCIAL
Alas, it’s not real. A spoof. Tragically accurate. You’ll laugh, but… Click to watch.
EVEN MORE BRILLIANT: A COLORIZED SCENE FROM “METROPOLIS,” FRITZ LANG’S 1929 MASTERPIECE
This is the single best argument for intelligent coloration. Amazing the censors let this go in 1929. Watch here.
A STEVEN KING JOKE ABOUT FOOD AND MAINE
Loggers are out in the woods, y’see, and they need someone to do the cooking. Pete Bouchard gets the call, because he’s the smallest — if he turned sideways he’d disappear, don’tcha know. Not given much in the way of choice, Pete says, “I’ll cook
until someone says they don’t like it. Then that person gets the apron.”
Well, they all agree to that, but a logging crew is in the woods all winter, and Pete gets damn tired of doing the cooking. He starts boiling the potatoes to mush, burning the venison steaks to cinders, leaving bird shot in the birds so the loggers have to spit ’em out, serves cakes so hard they’d break a tooth. Yet everyone in the crew keeps saying, “It’s good, Petie, it’s good, it’s really good.”
Finally, in desperation, Pete goes out in the woods one day and picks up a big bag of fresh moose droppings. He bakes it in a pie and covers it with whipped cream (I don’t know where he got cream in the deep woods either, so don’t ask). That night he serves it out. Severin Belliveau takes a great big bite and says, “God damn! This is moose-shit pie! But it’s good! It’s good!”
THE WEEKEND RECIPE: KALE SOUP WITH POTATOES & LEEKS
from V Is for Vegetables: Inspired Recipes & Techniques for Home Cooks — from Artichokes to Zucchini
Think of this as a vibrant green vichyssoise. It has the requisite leek and potato and is great hot or cold. Kale adds color and a pleasant earthy flavor.
4 tablespoons olive oil
1 onion, finely diced
1 clove garlic, minced
3 Yukon Gold potatoes, peeled and cut into large chunks
salt and pepper
½ bunch kale, center ribs removed and leaves sliced crosswise
handful fresh flat-leaf parsley
2 baby turnips, peeped and sliced paper-thin
Heat 2 tablespoons of the oil in a medium saucepan over medium heat. Add the onions, leeks and garlic, and cook until softened, about 8 minutes. Add the potatoes, 5 cups water, salt and pepper, and bring to a boil. Add the kale and simmer until the potatoes are tender, about 15 minutes.
Stir in the parsley and the remaining 2 tablespoons of oil, then process in a blender until smooth. Serve hot or cold, topped with the sliced turnips.
