'Admire a large vineyard, cultivate a small one' --- Virgil
ISSUE # 830
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==================================== RECENTLY IN HEAD BUTLER Ten: All the Foods We Love and 10 Perfect Recipes for Each The Essays of Warren Buffett: Lessons for Corporate America Nemesis: Aristotle Onassis, Jackie O, Bobby Kennedy Raising Sand: Alison Krauss & Robert Plant Girls Like Us: Carole King, Joni Mitchell, Carly Simon Johnny U: The Life and Times of John Unitas Life is Meals: A Food Lover's Book of Days My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journal
==================================== Early Warning: I praised Bon Iver on September 11. The New Yorker raves Bon Iver in this week's issue. Go, me! But the pressure mounts: What can I find now that others will discover in April? Feel free to suggest your undiscovered gems.
==================================== From the Mailbag: Happier New Year to all, and thanks to readers who e-mailed greetings. Two stunned me. One was from Susan: “Thanks for the wonderful recipe for pasta that you wrote up. You so romanced Gustiamo.com that I immediately ordered the colatura, the tomatoes, the pasta, the coffee. I saved it for New Year's Eve dinner --- it was orgasmic!” And this, from Elizabeth: “I have a birthday coming up and told my husband I wanted a little walk around money to shop the sales and a CD by Bon Iver. We were passing the local music store, and popped in to see if they had it. The bored-looking youth behind the counter snapped to attention when he heard what we wanted. As it turned out, they didn't have it, but I looked back over my shoulder as we left to see him with a broad smile and giving me a thumbs up. I have two nearly-thirty daughters and I know how "yoots" draw the line between their way and my way in matters of dress, movie picks and music; we are divided by these things, as we are meant to be. But every now and then, when something excellent is sitting there between us, the divide melts. You are good at finding those things, and I look forward to sharing your discoveries in the year to come.” Well, blush, stammer, thanks.
==================================== Butler '09: Writing slowed; the brain kept going. And, over the break, I decided that the word for this year --- for HeadButler.com and, I believe, for us all --- is self-care. Here's why: In a tough economy with an inadequate safety net, you need to make sure you stay in shape, think original thoughts, don't get sick --- your very survival as a member of the middle class (okay, upper class, in your case) may depend on your looking good, feeling strong, thinking smart. So although I will continue to look for the best books, movies and music, I'll be paying more attention this year to products. I expect some confusion and upset here. Indeed, when I praised Riqué Hair Products and the Clarisonic Pro Skin Care System in December, some of you wrote to say that I'd trashed my standards. I disagree. Butler is all about giving you an edge: helping you to be smarter, more soulful and more interesting. And also: better-looking. Shallow? Hey, I didn't invent a culture that discards the wise and wizened. But as long as I choose to live in that culture, I must try not to be defeated by it. Which is why, later this week, I'm going to tell you about.....oops, can't say.
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Grandma's Dead: Breaking Bad News with Baby Animals
Amanda McCall & Ben Schwartz
“Afraid to tell your girlfriend her ass looks fat?”
“Need to let your neighbors know you're a registered sex offender?”
Questions like these haunt many of us --- but they obsess Amanda McCall and Ben Schwartz.
After long reflection, they came up with a way to deliver harsh messages to loved ones, friends and neighbors with chilly efficiency and Oprahesque humanity: “Why not let a lovable baby bunny in a basket do it for you?”
And now we have Grandma's Dead: Breaking Bad News with Baby Animals --- an 88-page “book” of post cards, each featuring one or more adorable four-legged friends and a few simple, honest-to-a-fault words of text.
These one-liners include:
“I'm banging your wife,” announces a bandana-wearing piglet.
“You don't matter,” declares the kitten on the piano keys.
“Daddy's never coming home,” purr two tabbies in a mailbox.
“Your baby's ugly,” thinks a kitten, as she plays with a ball of yarn.
“Mommy blew your college fund on coke,” barks a snow-white puppy.
“I used to be a man,” confesses a rabbit.
“Sometimes I pay for sex,” mutters a mutt in a tin tub.
“Dreams don't come true,” two kittens reveal.
“You're bad in bed,” a Basset hound blabs.
“Your band sucks,” the Sharpeiis say.
“The condom broke,” confides an Easter bunny.
And of course there's “You're adopted”, “You're fired”, “You're the father”, “I married you for your money”, “We have to amputate”, “I'm leaving you for the nanny”, “I'm into weird shit” and --- my nominee for Most Sick --- “It's malignant.”
The postcards detach easily, and there's plenty of blank space on the other side of the photos-and-messages for you to craft some tender words of your own. McCall and Schwartz provide no guidance here, but I suspect they'd want you only to send the most life-affirming thoughts.
If, that is, you send any cards at all. For us, “Grandma's Dead” has pride of place on the coffee table --- although I've been thinking, after a week of “Little House on the Prairie” as bedtime reading, any kid deserves at least a few pages of “Grandma's Dead”.
--- by Jesse Kornbluth, for HeadButler.com
To buy “Grandma's Dead: Breaking Bad News with Baby Animals” from Amazon.com, click here.
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Looking for something specific --- and feeling lazy? Go to SEARCH.
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